You know, there are always those days when the exercise regiment and the little choices you make during the course of the day seem to have more significance than others. Today's been a day like that for me so, before I get into the observations from today's videos, let me take a moment to tangent slightly.
Health is important. By any measurement, I'm in pretty good shape. I'm easily in the best shape of my life (though that says less about my current state and more about my former state) and I take care to maintain that. Tomorrow, July 25th, 2013, marks the two year anniversary of me taking control of my health and going Primal. That was, easily, the single best decision I've made in my entire life. I went from being 273+ to being 140 in about 11 months time. I didn't do it safely (I ended up in the hospital for days after nearly two weeks of vomiting my guts out), I starved myself some days to hit a weekly goal, and my unsafe methods have resulted in permanent damage to my gallbladder, which now works about half as well as before.
But I took control of my health. I did it with the full expectation that it was going to be a total failure and my life, from that point on, would not be about achieving an unobtainable goal but rather drowning myself in my favorite foods. I was famous saying that I would die with a glass of ice cold sweet tea in one hand and a slice of cheesecake in the other.
Death seems so far off now, at least for me.
I was going to put all that, and more, in a post tomorrow. I still may.
But today's events have made me think about that more. They've made me think about Pilates and exercise more.
Today, my grandmother had a stroke. Technology being what it is, I was informed via text that this went down. My first reaction? Apathy.
It sounds cold. It is cold. But my grandmother had a heart attack last fall. She was taken to the hospital, told to get healthier, given meds, and sent home. At Christmas, I spent a large amount of my time explaining what I did to myself.
And it was, and probably still is, perceived as "what I did to myself" as opposed to "what I did FOR myself". Getting healthier is generally a good thing but the extremes I went to have negatively colored my methods (and Primal in general) with my overall family. I can't blame them.
But at Christmas I was still good. Still me. Still fitting into clothes I hadn't worn since the third grade (I was wearing an adult medium in third grade ... let that sink in). I had maintained it and I didn't slide back like others suggested I would.
I stood by my position. I took on all comers and did my best to stick to my guns at Christmas. Tough? Sure. Was I entirely successful? No, I broke over a few things (pumpkin pie) but I did all right.
I stood there, made my case, gave the people the information and the links (welcome to the 21st century). My grandmother has internet. I walked her through the Primal main page. I told her what I do, what I avoid, and what other people in her age group have achieved with this. It's not a cure all, but it got them off a lot of meds ... it helped heal the body. Shed excess weight. Strengthen their bodies, allowing them to have an active life that most in their age group can no longer have.
But my grandmother, like my family, is from the Deep South. Healthy equates to Splenda instead of cane sugar. Diet soda instead of regular. Privately, I confided in some friends that I didn't see this heart attack serving as a wake-up call for anyone in my family, especially my grandmother.
She's stubborn. The stubbornness I have is inherited from her.
So, when the news arrived via text this afternoon that she had a stroke, I wasn't surprised.
I wasn't angry at first, though I did find that for a few moments an hour later, once the news sunk in.
I was angry no one seemed to take their health seriously. I was angry that I didn't make my case louder. I didn't know how bad it was. I was waiting for the news to arrive.
Strokes are bad things. They generally don't end well. I doubted my grandmother was in danger of dying, but the thought occurred to me that she might be in danger of losing motor control. Or her mind. Or anything in between.
News arrived in the evening hours that she hadn't suffered any paralysis, but she was confused. Flustered. Words that have never been associated with my grandmother ... so the possibility of brain damage is there. Maybe her memory. I don't know for sure.
Nor do I know how this came about ... I asked for the circumstances, trying to find somewhere to assign blame, but the exact details aren't known either. They may never be known depending on what happens.
I realize it sounds horrible to assign blame to my grandmother, as she currently sits in a hospital bed, for her current state. Even the healthiest of individuals can suffer strokes.
But I am assigning some blame to her. A person controls their own body. In this day and age, with the information we have at our fingertips, ignorance can't be an excuse. I stood there, before her, as I am (more or less) at Christmas.
I was 133 pounds (at least) less. Those pictures of me on the wall through the years in high school? I wasn't that person anymore. I, the habitual-routine-bound-inflexible SOB that I am, had changed. I made a choice. I took a desperation shot in the dark.
And it worked. Yeah, I'm younger than her or my parents or my aunts or my uncles. Yeah, I might be the most extreme minded out of everyone.
But I did it.
And grandma sat there, heard me, participated, talked to me in her kindly grandma voice ... but I didn't get through. I knew it then. I know it now.
I don't know what happens next with her. She's had a heart attack and a stroke in less than a year's time. She's likely not going to change after this. I want her to, desperately. I'd like to be able to say she saw me get married (if I ever manage to figure out the whole "social" thing). I'd like to be able to have her meet my kids if I'm lucky enough to have them.
But that looks like a slim possibility now.
So, yeah, I'll assign some blame to her. Not all of it. But some. She's responsible for her body. Her food choices. She buys it, she earns her money, and spends it on these things.
Because of all this, I got some perspective on things. My own success, as "amazing an accomplishment" as others tell me it is, is ultimately empty when my example is so readily ignored. I hate it but it drives home the point that taking care of myself, of my health, is direly important. Every little decision makes a difference.
Pilates makes a difference.
Which brings us to today's videos and the difference I was making (poor transition, I know, forgive me).
Today's first video was a refresher from last week, concentrating on the abs. I have grown to like these specific exercises. I was mentally preparing myself for this to be as brutal as it was last week. I remembered how tough it was.
My memory did not match my experience. I got through this video without feeling gassed. I got through the video feeling pretty all right. I even managed to do some of the more advanced movements I was too afraid to try last week.
The second video brought a smile to my face. It's classic 80s workout cheese. Clothes, sound effects, speech patterns (she overkills on the 80s phrases) ... it was a welcome change from the usual presentation of the videos.
As much as I liked the presentation and the 80s theme, the movements in the video were all somewhat challenging. The ones that stood out to me most were the Oblique Crunches. As easy as these looked to pull off, I found myself straining a bit to do them. My obliques seem to be a weak area of mine so far and I can't say I'm shocked. I have rarely, if ever, used them extensively. At least I think so.
Other than that, I found the videos today to be a welcome relief from life. Something to get lost in.
Thanks for reading. See you for Day Ten.
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